March 26, 2015

Should Having Twins Be A Surprise?

should having twins be a surprise?

Recently I read this article on Babble "I Wish My Wife and I Weren’t Having Twins" and his wife's article: "I’m Expecting Twins — and I Feel Like I Ruined My Family" and it really irritated me.

Everyone is usually surprised when they find out they are having two babies instead of one. I am not saying they should not be in shock, but when you start trying for a baby, you should ALWAYS be prepared for the chance of multiples, not just twins. What if you have triplets, quadruplets? Are you ready to support more than one new addition?

What really frustrates me about this couple is that they live in a one bedroom apartment and planned on adding another kid. They do not even have a bedroom for their first child, where are they going to put another? What were they thinking to begin with? Now they are having twins, that is three kids. They probably should have thought about housing before getting that IVF. Seriously, where were they planning to put baby number two? Four people sleeping in one room? That does not sound like fun.

That brings me to point two, they opted for IVF to get pregnant and they CHOSE to double her chances by using two embryos, so instead of using that money to move into bigger housing, they put it towards a second child and risk the possibility of having twins, and what do you know, they got twins!

Another thing that is upsetting is that they hoped for a girl and got two boys instead. Gender is 50/50, if you can not be happy with what you get, then you should not have a baby or elect for adopting instead of IVF, so then you can guarantee a baby girl. They also wanted the child for their son. That is another issue.

You should never have a baby for any other reason besides the fact that YOU want another one. Only children grow up fine, they do not need a brother or a sister. A study even revealed that the fewer siblings a child has, the happier they are:

While the findings seem surprising, experts say there are clear reasons why more siblings could reduce happiness. Dr Ruth Coppard, a child psychologist, said: "In an average home the more children, the less privacy for each child. Some love sharing a bedroom with a sibling but they would rather choose to do it than have to do it. There is competition for parental time." (source)

I have no idea what this couple was thinking or why they decided to share this story on the web where their poor kids may find it someday, but if you are planning on having a baby, remember to consider the possibility that you may get more than just one child. It is okay to be surprised, but I do not think it is okay to react the way this couple did, especially if you used fertility treatment!


Attribution: Image used in blog post photo does not belong to me and was found on Pexels. 


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9 comments:

  1. I have no problems with twins and think they are adorable. Looking back I wish I did have twins. Two babies and you're done (we only want two). At the time, I dreaded it. My dad is a twin, so it runs in our family.

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  2. I think they did not know maybe that chances with ivf for a twin increase

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    1. Doctors are required to inform them, so they knew the risks, but chose to ignore them. My OBGYN was going to start me on Clomid, my OBGYN not only informed me the chance for multiples increases, she also gave me a packet of information basically reinstated everything she told me.

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  3. For whatever reason, I believe that when people try for a baby, they really only assume they'll have 1, so finding out about a multiples pregnancy is a shock. The first couple should have prepared themselves a little better though...
    I'd love to have twins some day!

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    1. I thought so too, until I had 1, so glad we didn't have twins, haha. 1 newborn is enough work!

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  4. I prayed to have twins :) double joy, double trouble, double blessings :) Love this article!

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  5. I too see many twins and triplets with IVF.What you said is absolutely correct, Parents have to be well equipped to welcome newborns.

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  6. I don't have experience with twins but do have a good friend who did IVF, only had 1 fertilized egg implanted, and somehow is now pregnant with twins! I think even if you know that's a possibility, feeling surprised can be a natural human emotion. Either way, having babies is truly a blessing!

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    1. Yes, it's natural to be surprised, but one shouldn't react the way this couple did, that's all I am saying.

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